I am absolutely overwhelmed by the response my article about our January Jewel is getting. I wrote the original post to put voice to my pain and hopefully raise awareness and help somebody find comfort. It seems that I’ve achieved that goal. But there’s still so much work for me to do.
Scar ectopic pregnancies are so rare, and any woman who has had a caesarean delivery should be made aware that this has a risk of happening. It’s life threatening and many women wouldn’t know until it was 12 weeks in or worse, when it was too late. More research needs to be done into the cause of this, perhaps the practice used to perform c-sections needs to change to stop this from happening. Also because there is a very small chance that the baby can go to term, just with a more deeply implanted placenta, there should be advancements made in order to save babies’ lives. Things have to change, starting with informing women who have had a section. A lot of the medical professionals we dealt with seemed to be flying blind and I could tell that some of the people I dealt with had to have a Googleor ask someone.
On a positive note, so many women have come forward with their stories in the wake of my blog post. Some I knew, most were complete strangers. Some had experienced miscarriage, some scar ectopics. Some women got in touch just to say sorry for my loss and that even though they hadn’t been through the same, they had been touched and moved by my story. It was so unexpected and uplifting and I really felt like I was part of a de facto community of my own making. I wrote the piece to start these conversations and help people feel like they didn’t have to exist inside their own dark snow globe. It’s made a real difference and i felt that veil of grief lift and light enter my life once again.
Obviously I will always treasure my little jewel and the pain will always be there in some way but I feel like I’ve done something to honour her memory. The comfort that people seem to be finding from our story has made this nightmare feel a little more worthwhile and like their short, precious existence will not be forgotten.
I will be forever grateful to everybody who read our story, took something away from it and got in touch with their own brave stories. I am grateful for all the family support we got through it all, emotionally and looking after Harry. The same goes for my marvellous friends who have given me patience, let me bend their ears and came running with coffee and cake.
The person I am most grateful to is my almost-child. I have already splintered my heart into thirds for you, Harry and Daddy. That will take time to heal but you’ll always keep that piece of me.